January 4, 2019
I used to wear the title as a badge of honor. Or at least a badge of martyrdom. Because if I was pleasing someone else and not myself wasn’t it honorable? Sacrificial? Nope. Big fat nope. I realized that giving people, flawed people, power over me was wrecking my life. I personally handed over my confidence, worth, and identity to someone just as flawed as I was. In hopes that they would love how I pleased them and then give me praise and round and round we went. But that is the definition of a toxic relationship.
Or when we flat out disagreed? We were never made to stand alone on the satisfaction that we get from human praise, or anything other than God. It is but a fleeting wave. Washing over us. Presumably filling us, only for the tide to draw back out and leave us dry.
I realized something, when my joy and self worth come from my spouse, my children, my things, social media, you name it. I am destined to fail. I’ve inadvertently created an idol. If you’re familiar with the Bible then you know how God feels about false idols. Just because I don’t cover my phone in gold and put it on a shrine in our home, doesn’t mean I’m not worshipping it. Worship is described as
“..an extreme form of love- it’s a type of unquestioning devotion..” .
There was a day when I would have told you that I don’t worship anything other than God. But do my actions affirm my belief?
When you are sad, have a question, or want to feel something, where do you turn? Is it social media? Is it a person? Chances are, if the answer isn’t Jesus then you could be dangerously close to creating your own idol in your life. We fixate ourselves on things we can feel. But what if God wants to fill you wholly? So that you never have to feel empty again.
Guess what? I am beyond guilty of doing this daily. Here are some that come to the front of my mind.
Kids are sick? Google.