When I Knew I Had to Pick Up the Camera
I sat on the floor in your nursery. The room still had a faint smell of fresh gray paint. The walls were bare. I stared at you, lying on that blanket, it had only been a week but how had you changed so much?
My camera sat next to me and I could see in my head the photos I wanted to make. I wanted to capture every last detail.
Your perfectly rounded fingernails. Your button nose. How your body was still curled up, a reminder of the months you spent growing inside me. Those little legs would all too soon be stretched out and running down the hallway, asking to play soccer and flying off the back of the couch.
In hindsight I didn’t just want to take your photos, I needed to. I needed to remember who we were in that season. How you needed me and I needed you. Having a newborn with colic and a newly walking toddler with special needs was one of the most challenging seasons I have ever walked through.
But that is the season despite all of the mess and fear that I could never be good enough to be called a “photographer” I picked up my camera anyways.
Many thanks to free webinars ( I see you Amy and Jordan! ) and the information miraculously retained from late night nursing/googling sessions. I remember searching things like “what is a high resolution photo?” or “how to get a blurry background?”
Now that those things are second nature it is easy to forget the impact those days still have on my life now. On the outside the photos aren’t ascetically pleasing. But they are still a work of art. And I can’t tell you how glad I am that I have them.
That’s when I grew into being a mother and a photographer. It’s when I found two little pieces of myself that God is still working on and through.
No matter what gear you have or camera knowledge, take photos. You are living out very important days that are worth documenting. And if you have any photography questions, ask away. It’s my joy to help bring out the Mother Artist in you.
You can read more about when I became a Mom here!
